Happy Sunday,She’s walking through numbers. What feels realistic. What needs to wait. “At least for now,” she says. “I think it means tightening things up.” I nod. I can feel myself doing it. My chest is doing something else. Resistance swells under the surface. I don’t want my life to get smaller. We’re sitting at the dinner table. Plates pushed aside. The familiar instinct shows up. Avoid it. Smooth it over. Let it go. But this is what I asked for. Quality time. Honest conversations. More openness. So, I say what I’m thinking. “I hear you. I just… don’t see my life getting smaller from here.” It lands awkwardly. Incomplete. I don’t know what else to say. We let it sit. The conversation winds down. We go on with our evening without gripping the tension. The next night, we’re back at the same table. Talking. Laughing over veggie pasta. There’s no residue from the night before. That’s new. I’ve spent a long time mistaking silence for peace. Convincing myself that not speaking was the same as being calm. Most of the time, I left the room quietly. Now, we come back to the table. Dinner means we show up. We stay. We let things remain unfinished without losing touch with each other. Some nights we bring things up. Some nights we don’t have the energy. Both are allowed. The unlock has been the container. 6pm dinner at the table. A space for honesty and room to be raw. That’s been my biggest lesson to start the year.
January in 3 snapshots 🔍 At-home escape rooms – Sarah and I went on an escape room kick without leaving the house. Board game on New Year’s Eve. A week later, we found an online escape room for ten bucks. That escalated into buying Blue Prince, a video game filled with puzzles and rooms to escape. Never changed out of our lounge sets. It was fun solving problems together from the couch. 🎱 Basement billiards – Played pool at a basement bar called Pour Decisions. Spent a couple hours pretending. By pretending, I mean we tried, just weren’t very good. Had some pitchers, acted like we were 22 instead of creeping on 40. Doubled down with McDonald’s and a walk home in the Chinook winds. Not bad for a January evening. ⭐⭐ Second star glory – Game-winning goal, two assists, and a second star. First time in the winners’ circle. Got my picture taken and everything. I’d like to thank my teammates and everyone who believed in me. I’m kidding… but only kind of. It’s beer league hockey. The bar is not high. But I cleared it to get the second star. Genuine pride. Photo saved.
3 Lessons Learned I. Overthinking is a privilege. It shows up when you have options, time, and room to choose. Kierkegaard called anxiety the dizziness of freedom. You can only be anxious if you have alternatives, if you have something to lose. So if you’re stuck in a ruminating spiral, the spiral itself is proof you have options. That’s not nothing. Reframe, refocus, make a move. II. You are always selling something. Your capabilities, your competency, your value. The only choice is what. Some people choose what they’re selling at 18 and stick with it forever. Others never really decide, so they sell what’s available. The lucky ones get to be intentional about it, to sell something aligned with who they are. Be aware of what you’re selling. Make it something you believe in. III. Waiting doesn’t make it cheaper. It’s tempting to wait until you feel secure about a purchase. But the security never comes. What comes instead is higher prices. Bread, homes, services, tools. It all goes up. So stop waiting to feel good about the number. Get the thing, do the thing, have the experience. It’s only going to get more expensive. Live now.
3 fun things to check out
I’ll leave you with a quote 🤔 “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” — Rumi Until next time, Scotty
PS Nuuuuge |
