4 Undeniable Reasons Why Burnt Out Millennials Need To Stop Being So Hard On Themselves (For Any Hope Of Peace And Prosperity)

All good things come in time.

Everyone agrees personal progress can’t be forced to happen overnight. And yet, a generation of burnt out millennials are killing themselves, straining to keep up in an overwhelming world. We bash ourselves for not being smarter, faster, or better.

Most of the time, we just want to be different. We judge ourselves for what we aren’t instead of learning to accept who we are.

We’re squeezing too tightly.

Here are 4 undeniable reasons you need to treat yourself better:

Reason 1 – Your life is the story you tell yourself

During my five years in university, I had one goal: start touring with my metal band.

I balanced school, the band, and bartending on weekends. Always working toward that one goal. We practiced, played shows, and flew to Florida to record an album. Three steps remained: finish school, release the record, and start touring. Six months later, school was done, the album was out (after a lengthy delay), but the band had stalled indefinitely.

After telling myself the same story for five years, I walked away from it.

The next few years were hard. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted without the band. But my life didn’t end, and my story didn’t stop. I was left to write a new narrative, and I learned it’s the most powerful thing you can do for yourself.

Our lives are a series of stories, some long and others short. None of them last forever, but many linger longer than they should.

What old narrative of yours could use a rewrite?

Reason 2 – You don’t know what you want

You wouldn’t be so hard on yourself if you were clear on what you wanted.

Think about it. What do you want more than anything else? Is it tangible? Can you see it? If it is, I applaud you.

For most of us, it isn’t so easy.

We beat ourselves up for not doing the things we should do. But should according to who? When we know what we want, we do it. When we don’t, we doubt it.

With a tangible vision, the ‘I shoulds’ will turn to ‘I shalls.’

Reason 3 – You can’t perceive yourself objectively

Have you ever seen your face from the side in a picture and thought, “What is that?”

Your limits of perception make your side profile look strange. You recognize yourself, but it seems wrong. Your internal self-perception works the same way. You can only see what’s visible from your viewpoint, and it’s not a complete representation of who you are.

So, if you’re judging yourself for the same thing over and over, stop.

Because it’s probably a perception problem. You need more information or a new perspective to stop the cycle.

Someone has struggled the same or worse with whatever you’re struggling with. Someone has found solutions and achieved the outcomes you want to achieve.

We need input to clarify who we are and what we do.

Reason 4 – You suck at measuring improvement

Improvement is a tricky word.

The dictionary is no help, only offering: “the action of improving or being improved.” We are a culture obsessed with improvement, but what does it mean?

Has your ability to read improved in the last six months?

I’m guessing you have no idea. And why would you? It’s not like you measure your reading ability. But what if you did? What if instead of trying to “improve,” you measured the things that mattered?

Improvement is vague, but momentum is measurable.

“What gets measured, gets managed” — Peter Drucker

To achieve peace and prosperity, you need to define them for yourself. Someone will always be working smarter, faster, and better than you. Decide for yourself what you want and set your own measure for efficiency.

Manage who you are, as you are, not who you wish you were.

If you’re patient, you may just become more than you wished for.

TL;DR

Rethink the story you tell yourself for a fresh perspective on life.
Clarify what you want to eliminate the “shoulds” and replace them with “shalls.”
Recognize the limits of self-perception to stop judging yourself harshly.
Measure what truly matters to gauge momentum, not improvement.

Stop the cycle of self-criticism. Achieve peace and prosperity.