Stop Struggling And Start Striving Using These 4 Bits Of Wisdom From Deeper Thinkers Than Me

Change is a series of choices, not a chance occurrence.

As a #strugglingmillennial, I’m guilty of seeking the next life hack or productivity app to fix myself. I keep searching while wrestling with the answers I have. I’ve wasted years looking for shortcuts.

This is to save you from stalling out like I did.

Modern thinkers like James Clear and Robert Greene have helped me understand what reinvention requires. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it beats staying stuck. These are 4 bits of wisdom to help you reinvent yourself.

If you’re tired of struggling and ready to move forward, let’s get started.

I. Get clear on where you’re going

“Many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity.”
– James Clear

Clarity is the key to change any circumstance.

The mistake I’ve made more times than I can count is wishing for change without clarifying what I want. I’m crystal clear on all the things I don’t want. In fact, I focus so much on avoiding what I don’t want I forget to look to see where I’m going.

I run in circles, never getting anywhere.

James Clear says, “It is not always obvious when and where to take action.”

I’ve pulled 3 habits from his book, Atomic Habits, to help with clarity:

Pointing & Calling —> “I’m doing X habit for Y reason”
Implementation Intentions —> “I will [behavior] at [specific time] in [specific location]”
Habit Stacking —> “Before/After I do X, I will do Y”

Every day presents a plethora of detours. Get clear on where you’re going and practice pulling yourself back on the path.

We’re all running away from something, but where are you running to?

II. Anticipate Resistance from unexpected angles

“Resistance is not a peripheral opponent … Resistance is the enemy within”
– Steven Pressfield

Resistance is every excuse we tell ourselves not to do anything different.

I’ve lost the fight against Resistance more than I’ve won. Recovering from a day of defeat, I’ll fortify my defenses where I was attacked. But the dragon in my imagination always arrives from different angles.

I can turn almost anything into an antagonizing force working against me.

Steven Pressfield explains that Resistance will come from outside ourselves, “We locate it in spouses, jobs, bosses, kids.”

The best strategy for outmaneuvering Resistance is to see it and call it out. You can’t avoid it. But if you anticipate it from unexpected angles, you have a better chance to contend with it.

To defeat the dragon, you must first accept that it’s real.

III. The obstacle is the way

“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.”
– Ryan Holiday

There is no easy path. When you accept this, you can finally get started.

We’re conditioned by decades of advertising to believe a quick, easy solution is available for every problem we have. We think we’ll discover the perfect answer if we watch more YouTube videos. And when things do get hard, we switch to the next shiny object.

The only “easy solution” is the one with simple instructions on where to walk and how far to go before you can expect to see light. No one can find the light for you.

Ryan Holidays says, “In every situation, life is asking us a question, and our actions are the answer.”

3 small practices have helped me see the obstacle as the way:

Paying attention — I meditate and walk
Noticing the obstacles — I journal and define setbacks
Process reports — I write reflections and note my momentum

I read The Obstacle Is The Way six years ago. I’m still learning to accept there are no shortcuts.

The obstacles are it.

IIII. Change yourself from within, little by little

“Any change in people’s fortunes is merely the visible manifestation of a deep preparation over time.”
– Robert Greene

Change is a process, not a proclamation.

We tell ourselves, “This time will be different.” We open the throttle on our willpower reserves only to do a few donuts and burn out the tires again. We spin our wheels, one hand twisting the throttle and the other squeezing the break.

We can’t change who we are, but we can change what we do.

Robert Greene pleads, “Stop fixating on what other people are saying and doing. Stop fixating on the money, the connections, the outward appearance of things.”

Fixate on yourself instead. Not as a victim of circumstance but as an autonomous being capable of change. Clarify the change you want to see and start stacking bricks of self-belief, one by one.

What’s stopping you?

Become who you are

“Some people never become who they are; they stop trusting in themselves; they conform to the tastes of others, and they end up wearing a mask that hides their true nature.”
– Robert Greene

Reinvention is the external outcome of an internal decision to make tiny different choices day after day.

If we can clarify where we’re going, anticipate the dragons and obstacles on the path, and accept the slow process of changing ourselves, maybe we can reinvent ourselves into who we are.

And really, what other choice do we have?